He... She... They...

This question has only rarely been asked of me so far. In the past, the answer seemed obvious: “he.” Today, it is no longer that clear, at least not for others. To me, though, “she” would seem like the natural choice. My appearance, my clothing, and the way I carry myself all point in that direction. Of course, I still have beard shadow, and my voice sounds rather masculine to many people. But anyone who asks is not doing anything wrong.

When I began my transition, I did not yet know exactly how I wanted to be addressed. For a long time, “he” was completely fine. Then, at some point, “she” suddenly felt right. And yes, every now and then I would jokingly say that “it” was okay too, simply because there did not seem to be a fitting option.

Unfortunately, the German language offers hardly any good solutions for nonbinary people. The English pronouns “they” and “them” often feel out of place in German, at least to me. Even in English, I tend to experience them more as a workaround, although of course I respect other people’s wish to be addressed that way.

Today I know this much about myself: I am “she.” And step by step, I will continue on that path in my own circles as well. I know that this is not easy for everyone, especially for people who have known me for many years. You may stumble, and you may still address me as “he.” I will not hold that against you, as long as you accept me as I feel and as I am today.

Yours, Lizbeth